Since I have been thinking a lot lately, I might as well link up with Amanda and her Thinking Out Loud Thursday’s 🙂
Let’s go for a run 🙂
While I have been running [a lot] lately, it hasn’t felt like I have been running all that much. Take a couple weeks ago for example. I logged 72 miles [should have been more like 78+…but I’m not counting] – that is the biggest week I have had this year! But for some reason, it didn’t feel like I had hit that big of mileage when I tallied it up at the end of the week. Yes, those back-to-back 23/25 milers make up the bulk of those miles…but running hasn’t felt so easy these days…
I think that the running hasn’t felt like “so much” because I haven’t been focusing on it so hard… Life happens and while I am putting in the miles, I am not as laser focused on the execution.
As some of my close family and friends know, I am dealing with some health issues pertaining to my parents. In the lens of total transparency, this is why I am talking about it now.
In July, my dad’s persistent back pain was diagnosed as Multiple Myeloma – bone marrow cancer. Due to several micro fractures in his lifetime [and the one that likely set this off just last year], abnormal cells formed and started invading the open, fractured areas of his spine. I don’t know too much about the condition or type of cancer this is – but we have been told that with the chemo treatment plan he is on, they can likely put him into remission in the next couple months. This cancer is one that he will live with for the rest of his life – and with proper doctor visits, scans, etc. they can keep an eye on recurrence. We won’t know how his body is fighting until after his 4th round of chemo – or the end of August. Dad is very optimistic about his treatment plan and is in amazing spirits through it all! I am not sure I would be able to be as positive as him, but he trusts the Lord’s plan and is taking it day by day.
At the same time, my mother is living with mental health issues. This isn’t new, because my siblings and myself have been living with this our whole lives. The past 5 years have been especially tough on the whole family and the choice to place mom in assisted living was made around a year ago. At first, it was a temporary solution so “the system” could see “why she has so many “episodes”…and “she is off her meds”…but this is far from the case. She is always on her meds, but throughout the year, she has substantial highs and lows. Like highs where she can’t sleep and ends up leaving the house in the middle of the night – wandering around the neighborhood getting into trouble. And lows were she can barely function and form sentences…
It is unbelievably difficult to not be constantly thinking about the well-being of my parents when I am not living in the same area. My sister has stepped up big time and is helping in every way she can – taking mom to appointments so dad isn’t exposed to any potential sickness, taking dad to his PT, doctors appointments, and even the ER [if necessary] during the week – Saturday thru Thursday, and still taking care of her little family. My brother is also stepping up and helping out whenever dad asks – but his work hours make it a little more complicated to be around on a more consistent basis.
While I wish that I could do more, I know I am doing what I can. I have been traveling to KC [4 hours round trip] most Friday’s to spend the day with dad. We go to his chemo treatment, meet with the nurse practitioner or his doctor and discuss his treatment, I run his errands [grocery, office supply, pet store, etc.] while he gets 2 hours of IV fluids, we grab lunch together, and then head back to the house. If I have a little extra time, I try to prep him a couple meals and clean up what I can around the house so it is one less thing for him to have to worry about.
Due to my mind being elsewhere, I haven’t been taking good care of myself.
I am eating okay…and I am staying active, but I am not sleeping all that well and there are days that I feel like I am on the edge of breaking down and crying for no apparent reason.
I need to take a little more care of myself and create a self care routine…
What do you do for self care?
Last weekend was a little exciting – I flew to Chicago for the Rock ‘n’ Roll Chicago Half Marathon! I made it into town in time to meet up with a group of bloggers I have followed for forever – so fun to meet them in person! We hit up the expo, I went for a run, and I INDULGED in Giordano’s for a late dinner ♥ We were basically rained on the entire race (with a few breaks) and then I was poured on the whole walk back to my AirBnB. No biggie…the big biggie was me missing my flight by a couple minutes and then spending the next few hours trying to stay awake so I didn’t miss the next flight! Yes, I made it back safe and sound…and I can’t wait to go back to Chicago sometime!
I am always linking up with these awesome run-spiring linkups this week :
Tuesday’s on the Run Wild Workout Wednesday Running Coach’s Corner
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6 thoughts on “in real life | thinking out loud”
Thanks for sharing what’s on your mind. Health and mental health stuff is so hard – particularly when your family is involved. Hope you find peace, get some rest and get some good running in too. A few days off – from life in general – won’t set you back and might be what you need to recharge. You are so strong!! Be well.
Wow, your sure do have a lot on your plate! It’s definitely hard having parents with health issues, and of course that’s magnified by your not being so close to home. You are fortunate to have siblings that are willing and available to help out. It’s definitely exhausting for all of you; both mentally and physically. I hope you will continue to take care of yourself. It will make you better able to cope with all of these stresses. Prayers for all of you!
Thank you! 🙏